Posted in Aspie Stuff

My autism journal

During the semester life can get pretty busy and stressful. A lot of lectures with different audiences, a lot of student meetings for presentations, meetings with profs, campus sports, and of course crowded public transportation. And then there are friends and family who also want to talk to me and spend time with me. In the evenings I often feel exhausted, and more than often I really feel close to OVERLOAD. When I was younger, I wasn’t able to feel overloads coming beforehand. I couldn’t protect myself from the outside world as well as today. What really helped me was keeping track of my days: What stressed me today? What went wrong day? What should I have avoided? What helped me dealing with stress? Continue reading “My autism journal”

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Posted in Aspie Stuff

I am worried.

I am worried. Constantly. Mostly about my parents and my sister. I have always been worried about them. When I was little, I was afraid of getting separated from them, I screamed bloody murder when for example the elevator door was slowly closing and my  mom or dad was still in the hallway. I was scared to lose them and never see them again. When I grew older, the worrying never stopped. Until today, I worry that my mom and dad might die, that my sister might have an accident. If they drive to work, I worry about them being involved in a car crash. When my dad works in the garden, let’s say with a chainsaw, I worry about him getting hurt or killed. It’s insanely exhausting.  Continue reading “I am worried.”

Posted in Aspie Stuff

Autism & Friendship

“Your son will never have friends.” That’s what the doctors told my parents.  Repeatedly. Yes, I prefer spending time on my own. Yes, I am socially awkward. And yes, being surrounded by a lot of people at a time stresses me out. But does that mean I can’t have any friends, or that I am not interested in having or making friends? No! Of course not.

Friendship is very dear and special to me. And I am talking about real friendship here, not acquaintanceship. That is in fact something I am very bad at. Continue reading “Autism & Friendship”

Posted in Aspie Stuff

How I stim

If you are not familiar with stimming: It’s a way (mostly) autistic people calm themselves down in different situations. The word stands short for “self-stimulatory behavior”. I do it when I am in stressful situations such as being on a bus, sitting in a crowded lecture hall, or shopping at a mall. But I also do it when I am at home, even if I am not stressed out, just because it’s a nice and calming feeling. There are different ways to stim. Some people like to chew on stuff, some stim via different motions of their body (you have surely heard of autistic people rocking back and forth), some enjoy touching different textures, some love colors – there’s a lot of ways to stim.  Continue reading “How I stim”

Posted in ocd

OCD: Let’s triple-check!

What does OCD mean? OCD is a short term for obsessive-compulsing disorder. It basically means that people with OCD feel the desperate urge to check certain things again and again or an individual number of times. I will give you an example from my life:

When I leave a room and I need to switch off the light, I don’t just switch it off and leave. I need to make sure that the light is really switched off. Continue reading “OCD: Let’s triple-check!”