Posted in Aspie Stuff

I hate holidays

Hey people of the internet,

I haven’t written here in a while. I don’t even have an excuse. I am on holidays, uni won’t start until October – and that’s the problem. My days are so unstructured. I hate it. During semester I get up at 7, take a shower, have breakfast (two pieces of toast with cheese), either try to take the bus and then walk because it’s too crowded OR drive my bike to uni, go to classes, meet by boyfriend for lunch, go to classes, go to the gym or for a run (schedule is written down in my agenda), go home, have dinner, spend some time with special interest stuff, go to bed. That’s my day. Pretty much every day. Except for days when my boyfriend decides that I need to be more “social” and we need to see friends. Which is fine. I can do that. Just not that often.

But at the moment, there’s no schedule. Every day is different. And it sucks so bad. During school week I only have to deal with two bad days – the weekend. Isn’t it strange that while most students long for the holidays I just can’t wait to go back to school? My boyfriend tells me that a day without a schedule is full if possibilities. Well, it’s not. Or technically it is. But it is so many possibilities that I just can’t decide what to do. The sheer number of possibilities to spend my unscheduled days is so totally overwhelming that I can’t handle it very well. That much spare time totally freaks me out.

Is that weird? I guess it is.

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Author:

23yo autistic law student.

One thought on “I hate holidays

  1. Whether or not it’s weird, it’s certainly understandable. I have always dreaded holidays for the same reason. For the first time in my life, I have a job with regular hours, and it’s made such a difference. Even at uni there weren’t that many contact hours and I really struggled to set and keep my own routine because things were quite inconsistent, but now I know I have to get [x] train, get into the office at [x] time, lunch is at [x] o’ clock, etc, and it’s very reassuring – and has helped me make better use of ‘unstructured’ time at the weekends, for some reason.

    Now, if only the people around me were similarly consistent… at the moment my biggest issue is living with housemates who cook at seemingly random times and therefore affect when I can eat!

    I hope you’re able to find some sort of solution to imposing a structure on your time.

    Liked by 2 people

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