I am not a jerk. Honestly. And yet, a lot of people probably think I am a jerk. Because sometimes I just don’t know what is appropriate to say in a certain situation. I am very honest, but honesty is not always polite. That’s a problem. I will tell you if your new haircut doesn’t suit you. I will tell you if you disturb me. But I don’t mean to be rude or hurtful. I am just honest. And that’s because I don’t understand lies.
On the other hand, there are times when I don’t speak at all when people expect me to speak. This often happens in very emotional situations. For example when someone cries. I can’t deal with tears. Tears paralyze me. I can’t hug the person because EWWW, and I just don’t know what to tell them. So I am quiet. And people get that wrong. They think I don’t feel for them. But I do. Believe me, I do. Most of the time, I even feel TOO much. But I just don’t know how to express those feelings. I don’t like to talk when I am not 100% certain of what to say. So at times I talk and talk and no one will get me to stop talking, for example about one of my favorite subjects, and I won’t really listen to what other people have to say about it. I couldn’t care less to be honest. And then again, I can stay quiet for hours, days even. I guess that’s what confuses a lot of people.
But – honestly – I am a nice guy. I may come across as a total jerk at times, but I am not. At least most of the time. I am just a little awkward.