Posted in Aspie Stuff

Autism & Friendship

“Your son will never have friends.” That’s what the doctors told my parents.  Repeatedly. Yes, I prefer spending time on my own. Yes, I am socially awkward. And yes, being surrounded by a lot of people at a time stresses me out. But does that mean I can’t have any friends, or that I am not interested in having or making friends? No! Of course not.

Friendship is very dear and special to me. And I am talking about real friendship here, not acquaintanceship. That is in fact something I am very bad at. I think the reason for that is a) I am really bad at remembering what people look like when I haven’t seen them often, and b) that I really suck when it comes to small talk. I just don’t get small talk. It’s boring, it doesn’t provide any useful information, and most of the time it even consists of lies – another thing I just don’t understand (but that’s for another blog post).

To be honest, I might not exactly be the easiest friend to make, but if you hang in there and get to know me – and even more important: give me time to get to know you – you’ll have a friend for life. I am honest, and I am very loyal because I have very high social standards – which might sound funny coming from an autistic person. But it’s true. I love rules, one could say I am “married to rules”, and the rule of friendship says that it’s an unconditional bond between two people, consisting of mutual trust, respect, honesty, affection and loyalty. I am not one to break rules. I may not have a lot of friends, but they people I call friends can count on me. Forever.



24yo autistic university student.

3 thoughts on “Autism & Friendship

  1. My friend, far from me any attempt to disappoint you, but now, over half a century of living with Asperger’s diagnosed at a very late age, I would have been glad to have someone telling me that I’ll never have friends, because in spite of all my uselessly wasted efforts, I never had what the NT world describes as “friendships”, only temporary, mutually beneficial acquaintances. I have finally come to value solitude, being asocial and self-absorbed…


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